What aisle is the ben and jerry's on?
on 2003-09-14 at 1:38 a.m. Okay I've decided I will propose to the next cute woman I meet on a Sunday afternoon at the grocery store mulling about the Ben and Jerry's section wearing a sweat suit and no makeup. Why you ask? Because there is a woman who is sure of her self. One who left the house without spending 2 hours getting ready. She felt like going and she went. She wouldn't harrass me about my food choices, eventhough I eat pretty healthy nowadays. She'd be willing to lounge about the house, or go grocery shopping on a Sunday. She's not afraid to go out on her own, and do her own thing, but she's gonna share that fucking tub of Chubby Hubby with me when she gets home, I'll tell you that right now.

I need someone laid back, who's not too into themselves, or me for that matter. Okay that sounded funny, what i meant was, they have their own opinions and desires and they can express them freely, I don't need mine recited back to me, being too alike is a bad thing.

She needs to be independent, willing to spend the day lounging with me and the dog, maybe even across the room, reading two seperate books on two seperate topics, with the occasional glance that tells you "I love you" eventhough she's reading Nisargadatta Maharaj and you're getting ideas from a book on Alexander Caulder. One of you will get up and cook dinner without the long drawn out decision making that normally accompanies such things. Both of you feel comfortable enough with the other's tastes to discern a good choice of things to imbibe. You share inside jokes that only require a glance between you two, and instead of always explaining it to your friends, you're content to have it as a secret between the two of you.

You can cut loose when needed, spend the day playing putt-putt, driving Go-Carts, riding roller coasters til you want to wretch. You learn to dance cause she likes to, and she learns the player's numbers on your favorite UVA football team. Then you pack your happy asses in the car to come home and hit the hot tub before bed. You don't have to share political views, or even philosophical ones as long as a healthy conversation is capable without an argument. Respect my beliefs, my values, my propaganda, and I'll respect yours. Be content that i am the way i am, because I like me, and you are the way you are because you like you. And we love each other, because we like ourselves. Be content being wrong, i know i am. I don't always have to win, as long as I get a shot. arguments are pointless, discussions solve problems. Sharing and comprimising are two different things. Comprimise has such a negative tone to it. Me learning more about you and your life is not a compromise, me being interested in your persona is not a compromise, meeting in the middle is not a compromise. It's sharing. I don't want you to compromise your life for me, i want you to share it with me, and I'll do the same. I'm a straight-forward, honest person, and I expect nothing less from you. I'm not a mind reader, please don't make me try. Emotions exist for a reason, use them, if you're mad at me, i need to know. If you love something about me at that particular moment, i need to know. I don't screw up too often, but when i do, i need to know about it. Hiding your emotions only makes things fester. Feelings are not made to be stepped on, guys have them, i know it seems odd, but we do. We know you have them to, and sometimes the maleness takes over and we hurt you, we're sorry, we're asses, we know it and so do you. But you need to put us backl in place, tell us how we've fucked up, because unlike the species who can smell fear and anger, men aren't it, we're dense, and we need all the help you can give.

Life is too short to spend arguing, compromising, and reflecting on what might have been when you have so much to share, give, and look forward to. One of my good friends just had a child, i saw him for the first time today. He and the mother are not married, don't even live int eh same town. When he graduates highschool I'll be 44. That's so far away from now, but yet seems right around the corner. I've spent all day thinking to myself, if that was to happen to me, what would i do? What's the proper thing, am I ready for that kind of commitment? Would i be comfortable with the alternative? I really don't know. But i bet the woman with the sweats on has a plan.

So i guess what i want to know is what aisle is the Ben and Jerry's on?

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Wisdom tells me I'm Nothing.
Love tells me I'm Everything.
Between the two my life flows.