Long time, and Happy Anniversary
on 2003-12-08 at 2:54 p.m. So, yeah, it�s been awhile. I�m sort of sorry, sort of not. I�m starting to wonder if Diaryland hasn�t run its course, served its purpose, for me. I just don�t have the time, or the constant need to put things down here anymore. I�m gonna write one hell of a long entry right now, tell you everything that has been happening with me, a few things left out because they don�t concern you, and hope that you understand when I say, I�m not sure if I�ll be back or not.

So the last couple weeks have been busy for me. It has been 16 days since I updated. What has happened since then.

Well, Thanksgiving, Richard and I did the family thing. I met her family (46 of them), she met my family (15 of them), it went well on both counts. We�ve spent a lot of time together, more than I ever thought I would want to spend with anyone. We pretty much live together at this point, as we do spend some time apart, but mostly it is because we work at different times sometimes. Although a new development just for x-mas, is that I now work for her part-time at night and on weekends for some extra spending money. So she works for me two days a week, and I work for her two days a week. We�ve talked a lot about all kinds of things. We spend the nights together, and our free days together. I�ve never felt this close to anyone before. We went away this weekend to Northern Virginia, to do some x-mas shopping, mostly at IKEA. We spent the entire trip talking, about us, about our plans, about what we can, will, and want to do, to make a life together. I think we have developed a strong idea about what we want, and I think it fits in with what we feel like we can do for each other. Never once did the car fall quiet, never once did I think about what may have been on the radio, never once did I think that I would rather have been somewhere else. Okay, so there was once, but it involved blue lights, and a slight indiscretion when it comes to speed limits, on my part. I met her brother and his family for the first time, I hope I passed the brother test, he seems like a nice guy, didn�t get the chance to talk a whole lot, but when we did, he seemed like a pretty nice, honest guy. I can appreciate that. I can see the similarity between he and Richard.

We spent all day yesterday (about 6 hours) at IKEA. I�d never been there before, but I came home with a head full of ideas, and a car full of x-mas gifts. Mostly for Richard, but a few others I won�t mention. I bought her a small dresser, two nightstands, and a rug, all to match her bed and living room furniture that was from IKEA. On the way home, we took a longer route, through Richmond so I could show her where I went to college, and we ate at the old hangout from those days, The Smokey Pig. We drove by the local mall area, which has grown immensely since I went there 6 years ago, and stopped at the mall to peruse the stores. They were closing, so we hopped in the car, I drove her past my old apartment, and we hopped on the interstate to head home. After a quick stop, because of the aforementioned blue lights, we proceeded on home, and arrived at my place at a decent hour, unloaded a few things and headed to her house, and went to sleep. The entire trip took 30 hours, but I think in those hours, we decided what we want for the next 30 years.

I think for the first time since I left college 6 years ago, I�m ready to go back. That may sound weird to those of you who know me personally, because I�ve taken classes since then, but I�ve never really felt like I needed to go back to school to get to where I want to be, until now. I think I have decided how I want to live my life, and what I want to do with it. All it took was someone to talk it out with, someone with a fresh perspective, and intelligent mind, and a willing attitude. She knows, it is going to be difficult for us in the short run. We are going to have to save some money, pay off some debts, and learn to live on less than we are used to. However, we�ve talked it out, and we think it is doable, and both of us are willing to try.

A major part of our relationship is about communication, we talk about everything. She is my best friend. I swore to myself when Mandy and I broke up, that never again would the Best friend and girlfriend be the same person, but maybe that�s what was lacking with my relationship with lexie. Richard and I have so many things in common, that we can�t help it, we talk about everything. We don�t disagree often but when we do, we talk. We don�t argue, we talk. We don�t let things fester, we talk. We never go to sleep angry, we talk. And when we talk, problems get solved, feelings don�t get hurt, and we always find common ground. I�ve never loved anyone like this, and I hope I never find out what it feels like to lose this. I think this time, I�m in this with all I have. And it looks like, she feels the same way.

My mom and dad have always been incredibly supportive of anything I�ve ever felt the need to do. My dad met my mom when I was 2. My mom got divorced from my �father�, a year and little more before that. My dad adopted me when they got married, and I�ve never felt that he was anything other than my dad. To me, he is my father. My grandmother never thought it would work. When my mom told her that she was going to get married to him, my grandmother said �That�s your little red wagon and you�re going to have to pull it.� He moved in with my mom within a month or so after they met. My grandmother had to eat her words numerous times over the next 13 years or so, but I think she knew that even though it may have been odd to her at the time, that if mom wanted it to work, it would, and she left it alone. So Mom knows that sometimes these things come along when you least expect them, and when you feel something that feels right, you know it. They�ve been giving me space, they�ve been leaving me alone, but at the same time, I think they know what�s going on, and they are laying in wait. I think they are happy for me, because they see that I may actually have found my track, my place. Dad slips little comments in, about Pharmacy school. He�s helping me find a second job that will get a little more inside track on what it is like before I actually start school. He�s identified some funding sources, and testing dates that will help me out. Mom never told me that dad moved in with her so soon after she met him, or how she knew it was right so quickly until recently. I respect them so much for being open and honest with me, let me make my own decisions growing up, but knowing when to step in and let me know what they thought best. My mom and dad got married 24 years ago today. When you are growing up, you never want to believe it when your friends say you have cool parents, or that your parents are nicer than theirs, of course you don�t want to hear it, because when you are mad at them, or they are mad at you, your friends don�t see it, but once you get to be old enough to see that your parents really are cool, it�s too late for you to go back and be like �Yeah, you�re right, my parents kick ass.� So, it may be a little late, but My parents kick ass. I hope in 30 years or so, my kids can say the same about me. Happy Anniversary.

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Recent Entries:

Prodigal Jonzo Returns - 2005-09-16

Sober - 2004-02-12

Long time, and Happy Anniversary - 2003-12-08

Getting you up to date... - 2003-11-21

Welcome Home Richard - 2003-11-12

Wisdom tells me I'm Nothing.
Love tells me I'm Everything.
Between the two my life flows.
~Nisargadatta

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