Just can't replace her with the dog
on 2003-11-10 at 10:42 a.m. Who am I kidding? I'm nervous. I'm trying to keep myself busy, that way i don't think about it. She's been gone for two days, I've talked to her probably 10 times, never for very long, I feel like I'm intruding on her trip. I try not to call her, I make her call me, so that she doesn't feel like I'm keeping tabs, but then last night she says to me, "Call me whenever you get the whim." Oh yeah, you can't tell me that now. We've been dating two weeks, we've seen each other every day, now you're gone for five and I should call you whenever i get the whim? I'd be on the phone all day. I sit here, so glad to be at work, cause if I was home, I'd have called by now. I've never felt this way, I've missed people before, but not like this, I'm in new territory here. Of course there are other factors at work here, but they do nothing to calm my nerves, I just miss her, more than i ever thought i would. And she'll be back in two days. I've pinned a plastic heart on my sleeve, cause the real one is tucked away in her back pocket, frezzing somewhere in downtown Boston. How pathetic am i?

Saturday, I worked all day, and then Volunteered to work security for the "Aerial Ballet". Along with Don, we kept the place secure, and watched the ballet under the eclipse, it was a pretty amazing setting. Then as the party progressed indoors, our jobs were replaced by actual 5.0, as opposed to us 2.5 as Alipow calls us. So, as I was still ont he clock, I pitched in and helped Misty pour beer, which she promptly knocked over because i put it in her way. crnflkgirl, my ex-girlfirend was there. She was cordial to me, but you could tell she either has a lot going on, or she was uncomfortable being around us. I think Alipow may be onto something in her recent entry about childish behavior, because while she was cordial to me, she totally ignored her, and they knew each other long before i knew either of them. I wish when people had issues they would just come out and say it. If I don't like you, I'll tell you. One of the reasons Richard and I get along so well with each other is we pull no punches, we are honest, no matter the outcome, I respect that from her, and she respects that from me.

After the party died down, the four of us, Don, Alipow, Misty, and myself headed over to Metro. Had a couple drinks, and then as i was hitting a sleep wall, having only slept a few hours the night before, Richard needed to be at the airport around 5am, I wen't home. Misty rode out with me, and we talked for a bit. I'm excited for her, maybe not so much in that she's not sure what's gonna happen, but in the fact that something will have to happen soon if he is living here, and at least, no matter the outcome, there will be some sort of resolution. I hope.

So yesterday I rode around with my parents, ate breakfast at the pancake house, went downtown to show mom the new Press at the Newspaper. Dropped by Richard's apartment to feed and play with Kitty Roar, dropped by B&N to see Alipow and grabbed a couple books. One on the dirty south for our New years trip, and two "books of questions" that i used to own, but that i believe went the way of the dodo, or maybe mandy has them, same difference.

Then mom and dad dropped me off at home, both of them had to go to work for awhile, and I watched football, and ate an entire pizza, not good for my diet, but I'm buckling back down this week, and getting back on it. I've lost 60 pounds so far, and I'm definitely gonna lose 40 more, i just gotta get my ass back on the losing track. I was so bored last evening, that I called alipow to see if she wanted to do a movie. She's not a big movie fan, she doesn't like tosit still for that long, but she agreed, we hit the CI for a bit, then took in Kill Bill again. She hadn't seen it, but I had, it was pretty funny to watch it again to kinda see different parts. She liked it, I enjoyed it again myself. We parted ways and I came home to the bed and the dog. Spoke to Richard one more time and hit the sack, missing her, but needing sleep. Man the bed is cold and big when you're alone, thank god for one bohemoth of a dog ;)

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Recent Entries:

Prodigal Jonzo Returns - 2005-09-16

Sober - 2004-02-12

Long time, and Happy Anniversary - 2003-12-08

Getting you up to date... - 2003-11-21

Welcome Home Richard - 2003-11-12

Wisdom tells me I'm Nothing.
Love tells me I'm Everything.
Between the two my life flows.