I'm in love at Halloween
on 2003-10-31 at 10:34 a.m. I got home at close to 5:30am this morning. I had intended an early night, as always, but one thing lead to another and I ended up crashing at her place. I had forgotten how nice it is to sleep next to someone you truly care for, to talk, snuggle. A few days ago, she played 20 questions with me about my future, my plans, my beliefs, my friends, my life. Last night I finally had the cajones and the time to do the same with her. It was enlightening, on many levels. We want many of the same things, and those things which we may not see directly eye to eye on are gonna be easy things to overcome, mostly because we are willing to talk about them and find mutually amicable pathways. While I laid there, watching her sleep with a smile on her face, that steadily changed from grin to mischeivious smirk, back to gleaming grin, I had a multitude of thoughts running through my head. Why me? Of all the people she's known, she's been attached to, why me? Why now? Why when I'm not looking for it does this fall in my lap? And Why Not? Haven't I been told a thousand times now that I am a nice guy, and that there are women out there who appreciate nice guys and their door opening, seat pulling, hand holding gestures? Why can't I just accept the fact that this is happening? Why do I constantly chuckle to myself while lying next to her, only to have her hear me and have to explain that I'm just in awe of the situation. What I really want to say is "I'm over on this side of the bed throwing a goddamn party because I'm excited about where this is going, and the possibilities this holds." I've been at her place past 2am every night since the first night, and each time I tell myself I have to go home, the dog is there, my bed is there, my life is there. What I'm coming to realize is that although my dog, and my bed are there, my life and my heart are now elsewhere, with her.

I've become a sappy bastard in my old age, I know it. I'm sorry to lay this on you guys, especially those of you that are having relationship issues, or that are in search of a decent date. But isn't that what these things are really for? To lay out my emotions, let myself dissect them, and move on to what comes next. I appreciate everyone who reads here, but I think some people may be turned off by this sudden turn of events. To you I say, I'm sorry, I won't always write liket his, I will get back to jonzo, but for now please bear with me, I'm sorting this through the only way I know how.

Oh, and My halloween costume is Bill Murray's character Bob from "Lost in translation". What's yours?

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Recent Entries:

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Wisdom tells me I'm Nothing.
Love tells me I'm Everything.
Between the two my life flows.