I'm one mean bastard. No, not really.
on 2003-10-02 at 4:07 p.m. So today I feel pretty goddamn good. I felt so good after a long night's sleep last night, that I even got remotely dressed up for work today. Not really dressed, no shirt, tie, jacket. But I'm wearing a white turtleneck, a dress shirt and khakis. Maureen said I looked Gay. If she means outwardly happy, then I'm okay with that. Or even if she meant, "You're a snappy dresser today." I don't think being dressed up and in a good mood makes me want to fuck other guys in the ass, but who knows. You may ask how I get away with wearing less than that on a regular basis, as a professional, and the answer is simple. I hide. I hide all day. I spend 97% of my day in my office, banging loudly on the keyboard or talking loudly on the phone. That way, noone comes in to see me. Sometimes, I'll even pretend to talk to someone if i see a shadow under the door. I don't have an irrational fear of co-workers or anything, I just work much better when i'm left alone, and I've been in such a shitty mood recently that most of the time, they would rather not knock. It is funny to watch the feet as they think whether to knock, or just suck it up and go away. I put a box on the outside of the door, with a note that says "If what you are about to put in this box is really your job, then plese don't leave it for me." Somebody threw away my box. I put a little note on the door that says, "knock once for me, knock twice for someone who cares." Somebody knocked it off.

However, today is different. People are not sure what to make of it. I left my door open all day, I had my feet on the desk while i typed this and nobody said a thing. I think they are afraid. Afraid that I've turned the corner, and the next thing they'll see is fire from my eyes as the large checks are burned up in my hands. I'm wondering if I should be Terry Tate office linebacker one day and go around tackling people who piss me off. Eh, none of this will happen, I'll continue to bust my ass, do my job, with no end in site, and hope that one day others will understand that I'm not pissy cause I can be, I'm pissy cause I care. I'm pissy because the money i raise gets spent on things we don't need, and I get grief for spending money on things we do need. I'm pissy because there is no way to be the man and also hate the man. You can't please your boss and your employees at the same time, all the time. Oh well, one day all of this will go away, and I'll retire, either from this job, or from these people, but for now, today is a good start, I've gotten alot accomplished, and people may leave me alone even still. All I know is, 1 day down, and tomorrow may be the same.

On other news fronts...

Weigh in sucked. I broke even. Nothing gained, nothing lost. I even ate healthy, except for that bun on saturday, and that wasn't the issue i'm sure.

Tonight is "Art by Night" where all the downtown studios are open to the public. Alipow, Richard, and Myself are going to go over to Onebluegreen's Studio to see what's up. It runs from 5-8pm the first thursday of every month, people should check it out.

Tomorrow night is still up in the air, thinking about going to a Gallery opening at Western for a friend, then maybe seeing "Lost in Translation".

"School of Rock" also opens tomorrow, and Jack Black has to be the funniest man around. I may try to squeeze that in one day this weekend. Anybody wanna go?

Other than that, gonna be a nice weekend at the house, got a few new paintings primed this week that I want to work on, hoping to get a few more well into the drying process so I can start doing some touch ups, and working them over a little more.

I'm out til tomorrow, peace.

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Recent Entries:

Prodigal Jonzo Returns - 2005-09-16

Sober - 2004-02-12

Long time, and Happy Anniversary - 2003-12-08

Getting you up to date... - 2003-11-21

Welcome Home Richard - 2003-11-12

Wisdom tells me I'm Nothing.
Love tells me I'm Everything.
Between the two my life flows.
~Nisargadatta

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