I jumped the gun, and a quick Grammar lesson
on 2002-09-25 at 1:40 p.m.
Okay, So I was a little over excited yesterday. I called, but the dude I was supposed to ask for was out of town. His second in command said he would be back today and that they would call me. Still waiting... Maybe I'll be here awhile longer. Could be worse, I don't live in a Refrigerator Box or anything. I drive a nice car (by most standards). I've got a enormagiguntous DVD collection, and I go out plenty. Money is however, not the root of the problem. I would take this money and run with it If i had some leadership in this place, or if they made me the leader, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, he chortled in his evil laugh. Then again, I wonder if they would burn me in effigy the way the full-time staff does to him. I know one thing, I wouldn't wear a brown suit, and i'd be here more than twice a week.
On to today's real topic...
A favorite of mine...
and soon to be a favorite of your's...
My Desperate attempts to correct the grammar of the people around me. Don't get me wrong, if you are home chillin with the crew or posting on d-land, you can use all the double negatives and run-on sentences you want, they don't care. But in a business setting please refer to your MLA handbook or some shit, because people around here talk like they took english from Professor Busta Rhymes.
Gripe #1- Everyone who works here knows I hate it when people end a sentence in a preposition.
Example: "Hey Jonzo, where's the bathroom at?"
My Answer: "Between the A & T on preposition street you stupid son of a bitch."
Gripe #2- The double negative, or as recently perfected by one of the local whinos, the quintuple negative.
Example: "I don't got to be doing nothing you tell me."
My Answer: "You realize that means that you do have to do what I tell you?"
Gripe #3- Umm, like, you know. These kill me, fucking spit it out or shut your damn pie hole. If you can't think of what to say, then shut the fuck up.
Example: "Yeah, like, umm, what do you, ummm, suggest that I, like, do with this, umm, thing, you know?"
My answer: Umm, yeah like umm, maybe umm, you should like ummm, ask an english professor for some fucking pity and a free speech lesson, you stupid shit.
And finally, Gripe #4- referring to things in the wrong tense or with the wrong pronoun, usually used together.
Example: "Me and Bobby have me a huge party last night."
My answer: Maybe you and Bobby and the rest of your friends should go in together on a used third grade english textbook so if someone ever wanted to actually know when something happened and who was there, you may be cognisant enough to help them out.
Okay, that's enough of my rants on the english language. I guess maybe I was just fortunate in life to actually learn how to use these tools at an early level, and like I said I don't expect my friends to use these hints when we are conversing, but damnit if you come in for an interview, please use some fucking common sense, if i think your retarded, half of the customers will too.
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Sober - 2004-02-12
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Getting you up to date... - 2003-11-21
Welcome Home Richard - 2003-11-12
